Intimacy Not Chemistry
Sex is God’s good gift, made for the covenant of marriage. So why does the world, and even the church, get it so tangled? In this message, Pastor David Cowan opens Matthew 5 and 1 Corinthians 7 to show that purity starts in the heart and that the gospel speaks healing over the wounds many of us carry in silence.
Further Study
- Read Jeremiah 17:9 and Matthew 5:27-28 together. Underline where each one says the real trouble lives. Jesus says adultery is committed in the heart. Why does He put it there rather than leave it at the act?
- Look closely at the wording of Matthew 5:28. Jesus does not say “everyone who notices a woman.” Which words show He means something more deliberate than a passing glance? What distinction is the verse itself drawing?
- Read Matthew 5:29-30 slowly. Use verses 27-28 to interpret 29-30. What is He actually saying about how seriously to take sin that starts in the heart?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 and mark every place Paul says the same thing about both husband and wife. What does that repeated, “in the same way” pattern tell you about how he understands the marriage bed?
- In 1 Corinthians 7:6-9, says three things: Paul calls part of this “a concession, not a command,” he names both singleness and marriage a “gift,” and says it is “better to marry than to burn with desire.” Watch his reasoning here. What do people often assume Paul is saying here that the text does not actually say?
- Read 2 Timothy 2:22. Paul gives two commands, not one. What is Timothy told to run from, and what is he told to run toward? Notice the last line. Who is he to pursue them with, and why might that matter for purity?
- Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, especially, “and such were some of you… but you were washed.” How might this passage reframe the answer you gave above? Where does it locate the power to change?
- Take a minute to thank God for what Christ has already done. Ask Him to search your heart, to heal what has been wounded, and to form in you the kind of love that does not use people. Pray for the married, the single, and anyone carrying a weight too heavy to hold alone.
The Gospel
If you have questions about what it means to be a Christian, we would love to talk with you about it.
Reach outThe good news is not advice about trying harder. It is news about what God has already accomplished. Christ died for our sins, was buried, and was raised on the third day (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). On the cross, He took the judgment our sin deserved. In His resurrection, He broke its power. This is finished work done outside of us before we contributed anything.
Jesus showed that sin is not only what we do. It runs through the heart, which Jeremiah calls deceitful beyond cure. None of us keeps our own hearts clean. The same passage about lust that exposes the outwardly respectable also levels the playing field. We all stand in need of grace.
Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. We do not clean ourselves up and then come to God. We come empty-handed and receive what He gives. His record becomes ours. His Spirit begins the slow, real work of forming us into people who can love without consuming.
If you are carrying shame, hear this: shame drives people into hiding. Jesus calls us into the open, into healing, into a new identity that is no longer defined by what was done to you or what you have done. The first step is not fixing yourself. It is knowing Him. Turn from sin, trust Christ, and rest in what He finished.